Who's Who in Saigon

The last leg of my trip was to the capital - Saigon. The majority of my Dad's side of the family live here.

The four days that were spent there were a flurry of activity. So many people to see and places to go. Most of the time was spent visiting homes and getting to know kin.

"Who's Who in Saigon" sums it up:

Chu Canh - of all the living brothers, he most closely resembles my Dad (in his "jungle" days). He is quiet with a broad smile. I believe he is the poorest of the relatives in Saigon. He doesn't complain at all and just goes about his business with a cheerful disposition. He mentioned dressing up in army gear and having his picture taken so that we could look at it when we missed our Father. His gesture was genuine and out of a desire to ease our grief.

Co Kinh - She is the mother hen of the family that resides in Saigon. She is busy during all waking hours. She rises before the sun does to prepare for the day. She is moves purposefully and without ceasing. Whether it's going to the market, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house or scolding some errant relative, she does all without complaint and with a somewhat regal manner. She is the eldest sister in Saigon, so I think she feels responsible for everyone. Her house seems to be headquarters for the family. The entire Saigon family (including Co Ha and her son, who now live in Qui Nhon) lived in her house at one point - including husbands and children.

Co Hoa - half of one set of twins, she lives in a quiet neighborhood not too far from Co Kinh's house. She speaks kindly and softly. There is a quiet sadness about her that I can relate to. A few summers ago, her son died suddenly and tragically while swimming in Qui Nhon. Several boys that day were playing at the beach and were trapped by an undertow. The others were revived, but sadly my young cousin was not. Her loss is great and unceasing. Many of the relatives in Saigon say I closely resemble her. Perhaps it's the shared grief of mothers who have lost beloved children that identifies us.

Co Cam - the twin of Co Hoa's, she has a completely different personality than her sister. She is more frank with a slight edge. With her hair pulled back and perfectly coiffed, I felt intimidated around her for the first few days. Even though her tone is aggressive, she is thoughtful and kind. My first day in Saigon, she took me to dinner and then to have my hair washed. It was such an unexpected treat!

Chu Tan - the youngest brother, he has very endearing qualities. I spent my last full day in Saigon with him. He drove me around sight-seeing downtown. We stopped to have coffee on the 32nd floor of a skyscraper that had a panoramic view of the city and visited the Reunification Palace and War Remnant Museum. My day with him was quite an emotional one, visiting the War Remnant Museum in particular. Our final family dinner was shared at his house and once the dishes were cleared, he had a few things to say to me in front of the family. As we lingered over drinks, he expressed great love for me. Throughout the day he watched me silently cry as I toured the palace and museum. He had expected to see a stranger, disconnected from her motherland after a 32 year absence. A woman who had married an American and detached herself from her family. Instead, he saw family, who openly mourned the devastation that her homeland suffered during the war. He witnessed my heartache and it removed any suspicion or resentment he had towards me.