Life Goes On

When you least expect it, life goes on. Somehow, the human spirit refuses to be quelled. Or at least this human spirit.



“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” --Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

This is how I felt during the past 4 years! My pendulum kept swinging from one extreme to the other. Some days, it was utter despair because I wasn’t the stay at home mom I wanted to be. Other days, it was bliss because I had this great and challenging career that afforded week long snowboarding trips to Whistler, BC. I loved being a Mom but felt despondent over my lack of patience and presence with L.

I have to admit, it was mostly good times. What makes us focus so much on the negative when there is so much positive? I was home to see L roll over for the first time (and roll right off the bed, too!!). D and I sat with outstretched arms as she took her first tentative steps towards us. On a grocery shopping trip to Vons, L uttered her first word, “dog” when she saw a Scooby Doo lunch box. Spontaneous “I love you, Mommy” still chokes me up.

The trips to Whistler, Mexico, Tulsa and Scottsdale were so much fun. Then there were also the short trips to Palm Desert and Disneyland. But even more precious to me than the trips were the times spent with great friends. All the Friday Fun nights at the B’s with the kids. From breastfeeding to self-feeding. Our monthly Family Dinners with our Bible Study Group. All the burdens shared over a cup of coffee with the ladies. The sense of community that is created from opening your home and heart that leads to lasting memories.

I think it’s a gift to be able to be content, especially in the culture we live in. How often do we choose to be satisfied? Most often, I’m trying to see how “it” can be better. If only I could lose 15 more pounds I’d feel great about my body, stretch marks and all. If only I had those $158 pair of Joe’s Jeans that I’ve been drooling over then the “denim” department of my wardrobe would be complete. If only it were the summer of 2007 and my friends were back from China then life would be so much more fun. If only we had more money then I wouldn't worry so much. If only our house would sell, then I would feel settled. If only I could finish my landscaping plan then I could rest. If only……(fill in the blank). The list is endless.

I have to choose to remember the good stuff. I have lost 12 pounds in the past 3 months already. I live in a wonderful city that I love and have built some incredible friendships. New friendships, from women I least expected, have opened up to me. My house will never be finished, but on Saturday, it was clean…really clean. I mean, walls washed, doors wiped down clean.

There is a secret to being content. I realize (again) that it’s only through viewing life from God’s perspective that I can be satisfied with what I have. He knows what’s to come and it’s really really great.

Someone once told me, “if you’re not happy with what you have, what makes you think you’ll be happy with more?”