L is starting kindergarten on Monday.

I knew this day was coming and I was warned that it would be here in no time, but I still can't believe it's here!

Yesterday was just the teaser to what Monday will be. Orientation - what a great word.

Orientation: an introduction, as to guide one in adjusting to new surroundings, employment, activity, or the like.

After a few moments of "adjusting to new surroundings," all the parents were asked to leave Room 1 and go to the cafeteria to meet with the principal and the PTO. As we rose to leave, L looked up at us mournfully, as if she, too, realized what a momentous occasion this was, and quietly wailed, "I want you." She was on the verge of tears, and so was I. D and I assured her that she would be ok and quickly filed out of the room with the other parents. I knew she would be in great hands with Ms. F, but what about me?! Who was going to hold my hand and tell me I was going to be ok?

I was unsuccessfully holding back tears throughout the Principal's speech to the parents. Was I the only parent in the room crying? Some of these "others" seemed to be unaffected by it all. Some were used to the drill as they had sent older siblings off years earlier. They were "pros." They were probably the ones on the PTO board.

I just can't imagine sending her off to school. I want the baby years back! That's not possible. So, in the sage words of the Principal, when I am with her, I will give her the best of me. She deserves that portion.

My life is filled with blessings. Sometimes, it's difficult to see them. But, if I look hard enough, they are there.

I have a loving and generous husband.
I have an adorable and exuberant daughter.
I was able to hold my sweet baby in my arms, love her and say good bye.
I experienced the worst pain a parent could go through and I survived.
I can laugh again.
God has provided a respite when I thought none existed.
God has brought me back from the verge of death.
God loves me enough to empty me of me, so that he can fill me up with Him.